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“Love” has been used to oppress me. “Love” has been the hand pushing me away. “Love” has been the voice telling me I’m going to hell unless I change. “Love” has been the reason for my broken heart. “Love” tells me I must sacrifice my love. “Love” tells me it’s only trying to care for my soul. “Love” sees me as second class. “Love” sees me as broken. “Love” tells me I’m being selfish. “Love” tells me whats “Biblical”. And my beliefs certainly aren’t “Biblical”.
“Love” quietly stands on the side as a bystander. “Love” says “Love the sinner, hate the sin”. “Love” tells me I’m “Welcomed, but not Affirmed”. “Love” tells me they can’t accept my relationships. “Love” tells me I’m living in sin.
The thing is…
I do need repentance. I need healing. I need to see myself as broken. I am selfish. My beliefs aren’t “Biblical”. I’m not “OK”. I need Jesus.
But not because my sexuality is sinful.
But because I’m human.
My relationships are a sacred, holy, and beautiful thing to God.
And this is why I don’t trust “love” in the context of Christians.
Rachel Held Evans puts it beautifully:
“…When Christians are told that God is love, but that “love” looks and feels like the opposite of what we know love to be (it’s angry, it’s emotionally unstable, it’s violent), it’s not a far journey to make for some leaders in churches to ALSO claim that their angry, unstable, and violent actions are “loving”. This is how abuse happens.”
A member of my family recently posted a “10 things people should know about homosexuality,” which was an article, by a pastor, that was very homophobic in nature. It made me, a queer Christian, incredibly angry. So I sat down and wrote out a rebuttal using the Bible (and a few resources you wonderful folks provided) to debunk the list and create a new one supporting our community. Anyway, thought you’d like the link to the post: http://disgruntledchristian.tumblr.com/post/55891842870/dear-pastor-mike
Thanks guys! You’re doing such an awesome job. :)
I quite like what this person has written.
I had a very vivid dream last night, and I had this long conversation with an imaginary preacher. I asked him:
"Why is it that we base our supernatural beliefs so strongly off a physical book? Is God nothing more than physical words? Is he no more than just verses and scripture? Also, what’s with the whole "he" thing anyway? We can assume Jesus identified as "he" since he refers to himself as such, but God only says "I am." Somehow I don’t think it’s accurate to assume that God is a man, or has a penis, because the only reason our society refers to someone/something as "he" is if they are a man or have a penis and from what I understand, God doesn’t reproduce, God creates. Why is it that we’re constantly limiting teachings and references to only the Bible? Can we not look around and see all the many blessings that are around us and learn from our experiences? Can we not learn from small acts of kindness, good deeds, or love? I don’t think the Bible is complete fallacy, but it is not right to say that we believe in a supreme being and yet only base the teachings of that being off a physical book that has been changed by man over thousands of years. If we are to truly believe in the word of God then we should have enough faith to believe that the Bible is not the only way of preaching and teaching God’s love. I honestly wasn’t brought to the Lord though the Bible, I was brought to the Lord through the love of my family and the love I experienced around me. I was very young when I accepted Christ, so it’s safe to say I wasn’t looking for an explanation, or answers to some bigger question about life. I wasn’t looking for salvation from Hell (which I probably didn’t even know what that was at the time). I simply wanted to find love, and a place of belonging. How have we gotten to this point? How have we as a people resorted to scare tactics and hate? Love is of God. Why can’t people see it?"
I don’t remember him ever having an answer for me, but a few minutes later, I woke up.