“Love” has been used to oppress me. “Love” has been the hand pushing me away. “Love” has been the voice telling me I’m going to hell unless I change. “Love” has been the reason for my broken heart. “Love” tells me I must sacrifice my love. “Love” tells me it’s only trying to care for my soul. “Love” sees me as second class. “Love” sees me as broken. “Love” tells me I’m being selfish. “Love” tells me whats “Biblical”. And my beliefs certainly aren’t “Biblical”.
“Love” quietly stands on the side as a bystander. “Love” says “Love the sinner, hate the sin”. “Love” tells me I’m “Welcomed, but not Affirmed”. “Love” tells me they can’t accept my relationships. “Love” tells me I’m living in sin.
The thing is…
I do need repentance. I need healing. I need to see myself as broken. I am selfish. My beliefs aren’t “Biblical”. I’m not “OK”. I need Jesus.
But not because my sexuality is sinful.
But because I’m human.
My relationships are a sacred, holy, and beautiful thing to God.
And this is why I don’t trust “love” in the context of Christians.
Rachel Held Evans puts it beautifully:
“…When Christians are told that God is love, but that “love” looks and feels like the opposite of what we know love to be (it’s angry, it’s emotionally unstable, it’s violent), it’s not a far journey to make for some leaders in churches to ALSO claim that their angry, unstable, and violent actions are “loving”. This is how abuse happens.”