Peace be with you! You can now comment on blog posts; blog commenting is powered by Disqus. Blog comments are moderated, but we still expect you all to be respectful in the comments. We’re working on some interesting stories for you. Also, Enrique is working on a major project which will be announced soon.
Enrique Molina, after several days of waiting for votes, has received support as the Editor Elect of Gay Christian International!
I will now officially be stepping down. It was nice while I lasted here, but I am now finished. Hopefully he will be able to commit more time than I could to this blog.
Thank You All.
“Love” has been used to oppress me. “Love” has been the hand pushing me away. “Love” has been the voice telling me I’m going to hell unless I change. “Love” has been the reason for my broken heart. “Love” tells me I must sacrifice my love. “Love” tells me it’s only trying to care for my soul. “Love” sees me as second class. “Love” sees me as broken. “Love” tells me I’m being selfish. “Love” tells me whats “Biblical”. And my beliefs certainly aren’t “Biblical”.
“Love” quietly stands on the side as a bystander. “Love” says “Love the sinner, hate the sin”. “Love” tells me I’m “Welcomed, but not Affirmed”. “Love” tells me they can’t accept my relationships. “Love” tells me I’m living in sin.
The thing is…
I do need repentance. I need healing. I need to see myself as broken. I am selfish. My beliefs aren’t “Biblical”. I’m not “OK”. I need Jesus.
But not because my sexuality is sinful.
But because I’m human.
My relationships are a sacred, holy, and beautiful thing to God.
And this is why I don’t trust “love” in the context of Christians.
Rachel Held Evans puts it beautifully:
“…When Christians are told that God is love, but that “love” looks and feels like the opposite of what we know love to be (it’s angry, it’s emotionally unstable, it’s violent), it’s not a far journey to make for some leaders in churches to ALSO claim that their angry, unstable, and violent actions are “loving”. This is how abuse happens.”
I am 19 years old, and I am a Lesbian! Wow, it feels good to put that down in writing :) I have known for years, but am just coming out. The reason it has taken so long is because I am a Christian. I almost came out when I was 14, I even told my track team. They didn’t believe, and shortly after telling them I went to a christian summer camp where I fell in love with God.
From that moment He stole my heart, but I always new that I wasn’t going to be the typical christian. For years I tried to fight, I even dated one of my close guy friends for three years. He was a great guy, but I wasn’t into him the way I should have been. He was in love with me, and I realized fast that I was lying to everyone that was my senior year of high school.
After he went to college we broke up, and I started this long road of self discovery. Over the span of about two and a half years, I discovered a lot. I discovered that I couldn’t keep lying to people, and I couldn’t keep acting like I was attracted to men. During this discovery period I left for college, a christian college at that, to study ministry. I love telling people about God, and spreading His love.
So many people in the church have so much hate towards those that are gay, that I was terrified to be myself, to come out. Then I realized that being gay is who I am, and hiding it is a shame. God will always be my center, and I know he will always love me. Gays are not damned to hell, it matters where your heart is. Not who you love. This was one of the most important things I learned through this road of self discovery. For years I hated myself, and what I was. Now I love who I am, and I am proud to say that I am a Christian who also happens to be a lesbian. This is just a tip of the ice berg of my story, but I wanted to share at least part of it with people who care :)
Thank you for sharing your story! —Enrique